“Anthony and I are getting married next month”.
I sat stunned; a hurt blank stare was my only communication. This is not the way I dreamed it would be. The words racing through my mind would be hurtful and damaging, but I wanted to yell them out. “Lord guard my tongue” was my only prayer. All I knew was this was the same guy that three years ago we forbid our daughter from seeing, the same guy that was extradited back to California for robbery. And the same guy that spent two years for the crime and still has seven months on his parole. Before I could gain my composure I heard
“It’s just going to be a small out side wedding and we have a friend who said she would marry us.”
SHE? Wait, What? This goes against everything I believe and hold true. “Lord what’s next”? I asked. I had to turn every thought to a prayer in order to keep form lashing out.
“Is he a Christian?”
“He went to church as a kid”
“But is he a Christian?”
“I don’t know, he doesn’t like going to church”.
“ How can I give you away to someone who doesn’t love God?”
Tears started to flow and the “dad your just don’t get it” look came flying across the room.
Minutes seemed like hours. Time could not move fast enough for me. “I don’t want to talk about this” keep filling my mind. “Take me know Lord” actually flashed through once or twice. By the grace of God I held my tongue and listened. We shared our hearts and truth. She shared her feelings and uncertainty. Yet at the end of it all nothing had changed. They still plan on getting married and expect us to be onboard with it.
I can’t do it! I can’t give my daughter away to someone who does not love God.
Can I?
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4 comments:
Some thoughts...take 'em or leave 'em.
Our kids make choices that we don't always like. They live their lives the way they want, not how we want them to. Sometimes it breaks our heart, but we never stop loving them, because God never stops loving us, despite the poor choices we make.
If you can't give her away, then don't. But, she is your daughter, and you do love her, so don't close doors that can never be opened. God can change people. Not everyone who goes to prison is "bad"...I know firsthand. maybe you'll be surpised...you never know what God has planned. I would go to her wedding. Let her know the door to your heart is always open and that you will always love her, even if you don't love the choices she's making.
Let her know it's not too late to back out, even right up to the time she's saying I do. and if it all falls apart, be there to help her pick up the pieces. it's what parents do. I know.
Just my opinion...like I said, take it or leave it.
Dave,
I'm praying for you. You don't know how close to home your story touched my heart. Dealing with issues with my own daughter. As a matter of fact, spent most of last night wresting with God over her. Giving our children to God is not easy. And it certainly doesn't relieve of us of our responisbility--or the pain that comes through their apparent bad choices. anyway, you are being lifted up to the Father right now.
Thank you Anita, your opion is valued and appreciated. You and Mike have been true examples of unconditional love for your children. I just keep telling myself that my God is bigger than this. I trust him and and his promises more than my eyesight, more than my percertion of reality.
You're right, our God is bigger. We can't see the big picture, all we can see is what's right in front of us, and usually for me, it seems all muddy and blurry and I don't understand any of it, until later, when it all seems to fall into place and make sense. All I can say, after all we've been thru, and continue to go thru, is that God continually teaches me lessons about leaning on Him, trusting in Him, that He is in control, and that He will ALWAYS be faithful to his children. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, my heart has been broken many, many times, but I've come thru it all my stronger in my faith, and more trusting in my God.
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