I was wrong!

Last week I falsely accused Justin of saying something on a video blog post that was not even there. Oh, my ears heard it, but it wasn’t there. I could say it was just an honest mistake that the combination of the dialog and the music sounded like something was there. But why did I feel the need or that it was my responsibility to point it out?

Why do any of us feel the need to comment on others blog posts? Is it for their “edification”? Or that it’s our “duty” as Christians to point out what we think is wrong?

Maybe it’s to make us feel important, to feel like we know what is being talked about.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not at all implying that every comment is negative and meant to demean the poster. I’m saying that for me I realized, a bit to late, that I spoke before I really listened. I commented before I really looked into it. I thought I knew what I was talking about and I thought everyone else should know it to. But at what cost and to what end? What good did it do? The only good it did was to help me realize that I don’t know everything and that it not up to me to make sure everyone else does. It's to late to undo the damage that was done, all I can do is apologize.

I make a mistake.

I judged.

And I was wrong.

I Commented!

You know it really shouldn’t amaze me that when I choose to put out in public my thoughts, actions, misunderstandings and everything else, via the blog world I act surprised when others disagree through their comments.

I thought I would welcome comments, “educated” constructive criticism, but no matter how ready I think I am, It still hurts and I take offence when it’s obviously misunderstood, not even by the direct person or directly to me but by and through a second party.

Let me explain while trying not to be too specific.

I enjoy reading blogs. Some for fun, some for inspiration and others for growth. I DO NOT read them to “monitor” others thoughts, actions or opinions. And for those who really know me they know that I am far from that.

I looked at a blog the other day and found it to be great, funny and creative. One item caught my attention and I commented on it. I may have been wrong, but I commented. This person explained their feelings I explained mine and I thought that was that. Well I was wrong.

My comment had nothing to do with weather I was “offended”, it caught me off guard and I was not sure what was really there. I did not tell this person what they should and should not put in their blog, I simply brought something up. What I thought was valid, I was told that was not the case and I admitted I could have been wrong and I tried to let it go.

If my comments seemed to communicate harassment, judgment or that I am in any way more righteous than I apologize.

I made a mistake.

I commented!

At a loss for words

I’ve never experienced death on a personal level beyond my grandparents. I loved them and have great memories from my childhood. But I can’t begin to understand the depths of loss when you loose a parent, child, brother or sister.

She was a young mother in her 20’s with two beautiful kids. An active, smart and precocious 5 year old and an innocent 3 year old with significant medical needs. She struggled to provide the most basic of needs, seeking God at every turn. She tried to understand the purpose for the difficulties in their lives, abandonment, and feelings of rejection, unsupportive family and self-worth. She was scheduled for gull-bladder surgery next Tuesday to relieve the pain. She never gave in or gave up. She looked to God and the support of her friends.

What do you say to a 5 year old who finds her mommy on the floor not breathing? She called 911, she waited and she wondered.

Her questions still ring out “my mommy’s dead, isn’t she?” “When will I get to see her again?” The only answer, “ Jesus is taking care of her right now”.

I don’t understand. I can’t make any sense of it. I can’t even pretend to understand it. What is God’s plan and purpose? She was young and had a family to rise. Why did he call her home now?

6 months to salvation

To tell you the truth, on the surface I did not expect God to answer my prayer the way he did. . Wait check that. I did not expect Tammy and Anthony to hear wisdom and wait on getting married. They are not getting married on the Oct. 13. They are looking more at May 3, 2008.

So am I off the “hook”? I don’t have to walk her down the isle or give her away, right now! There are still many difficult decisions about their relationship and living arrangement that have to be talked about. But now I have six months to show Anthony the never-ending love, grace and mercy of Christ. I have to look for every occasion to share Christ and provide an opportunity for him to make a decision.

My prayers have changed from “don’t let her get married”, to “if you brought this young man into our lives so that we can be used to bring him to salvation and a right relationship with Christ, then use us”.

So what happens if he does not find and accept Christ by May 3? I can’t answer that. I’m choosing to live in today.